


True Feelings ( A Pride & Prejudice Fanfiction)

by hotcocoatroy



Category: Pride and Prejudice (2005), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotcocoatroy/pseuds/hotcocoatroy
Summary: If you think Jane never showed her true feelings, just imagine how secretive Elizabeth Bennet was with her own. Who is to say she never thought about Mr Darcy? Who is to say she might've liked his looks, or his voice?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A different take on Pride & Prejudice. :)

Elizabeth Bennet, however much she prided herself on her judgement of character, had never been so flummoxed in her life. From the moment she beheld him, she knew him to be the handsomest man she had ever laid eyes on, and his height went well with her own. While she wasn't quite tall, she was an inch above Jane, and a great match to his stature.

However inclined she was toward his looks, she had yet to observe his manners and propriety. Would he be worth her affections, should they form?

She overheard him tell his amiable friend that she was barely tolerable, not quite as handsome as her eldest sister, and she couldn't capture him. While Elizabeth was hurt, she did not blame him for such a statement, as she did feel she was rather plain, and knew nothing of capturing a man's fancy.

"Dearest Lizzie, do not take what Mr Darcy says to heart, for he didn't even look at you when he spoke," Her dearest friend Charlotte told her.

Lizzie wore a gentle smile. "Dear Charlotte, how could he form an opinion of my looks without looking at me? Perhaps he caught sight of me earlier?"

Charlotte disagreed. "Oh, Lizzie, you're too humble. I'm sure Mr Darcy would like you if he had the chance."

Mr Bennet brought his daughters and wife to Mr Bingley's attention earlier that night, and while Mr Darcy was not with his friend, he observed from several feet away. He understood that the two oldest girls were much more proper than their younger sisters, and it was obvious that they were both of a gentle nature.

"There is no class among these people," Miss Bingley said to him.

"There is little propriety, but a few aren't so avoidable, Caroline."

"Darcy, do you fancy these people?"

"Not at all. But I'm not so quickly harsh as you, and while it takes me longer to form an opinion, it is hardly ever altered henceforth."

"Darcy, you're hardly ever kind in your opinions."

"How would you know? Do you think me so fond of you as to give you my every thought? Caroline, I assure you, I do think highly of many people, and I rather say you'll be offended if I tell you how many come before yourself." Darcy walked away from his friend's sister, choosing not to sink to her level any longer.

"Darcy, my friend, won't you dance with any of the ladies in the room? I daresay Miss Bennet's sister Miss Elizabeth is very agreeable."

Darcy sighed. "Charles, I do not know if I could tolerate dancing. She is barely tolerable, nowhere near as handsome as Miss Bennet, and I do not know her."

"And you can't meet someone at a ball?" Bingley asked, for he felt quite certain that if Darcy only met the girl, he'd fall in love with her, but his friend would not hear of it.  


Elizabeth was very glad when the night came to an end, but when Jane and she were alone, she heard all about her affection for Mr Bingley, although they'd only just met. "Oh, Dearest Lizzie, I hope with all my heart that you find someone just as amiable as he."

She smiled at her sister's gentle disposition. "Jane, for I love you dearly, I'm so happy for you. I do hope very much that Mr Bingley will ask for your hand, for I would hate to see a most beloved sister injured at such a man's indifference. He seemed to like you very much, indeed."

Jane blew out the candle at their bedside. "What of Mr Darcy? Is he not handsome, Lizzie?"

"If he is handsome, I would not know it, for I didn't get to see him up close. Did I miss him?"

"Mr Bingley introduced us, and he was very kind to me. I was told by Mr Bingley that he's not fond of balls, or dancing, especially when he doesn't know any of the other guests."

"I suppose. He told Mr Bingley that I was barely tolerable, for I heard them speaking when I was hiding."

"Hiding! Whatever for, Lizzie? And how could Mr Darcy say such a thing? I shouldn't like to believe it."

"I heard it with my own ears, sister. Charlotte told me not to be offended, for he hadn't even looked my way when he said it. But say he caught sight of me before I was hidden, and knew of whom Mr Bingley was speaking? Should I be hurt then, dearest Jane?"

Jane gave no answer, and Elizabeth rolled onto her side, falling slowly into sleep.  


We've all heard the account of Mr Collins, Charlotte, and the Netherfield party, but a short recap may be in order. After Elizabeth refused Mr Collins, he offered his hand to Miss Charlotte Lucas, who accepted him gladly. It was around the same time that Mr Bingley, his sisters, Mr Hurst, and Mr Darcy left Hertfordshire for London. Elizabeth believed she knew the reason why, but she couldn't be prevailed upon by any of her family to give her opinion. She would not injure them so. Jane went to her aunt and uncle's in Lambton, and Elizabeth soon went to Kent, to be with Charlotte and Mr Collins for awhile.

Here she met Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It had been three months since Jane's departure, and that of the Bingleys and Darcy. So when she saw Mr Darcy there, and another man who was called Colonel Fitzwilliam, she was beyond surprised. Mr Darcy was kind to her, in such a way that he had seemed only civil while he was staying at Netherfield. Elizabeth tried to be equally kind to him, but she had suspicions of what had transpired to make them all quit Netherfield so suddenly, and they put a damper on any kind feelings she held for him.

When she found out that her suspicions were true, she was so very hurt by the action against her most beloved sister that she no longer felt him tolerable or slightly decent. She accused him of many things on that very day, after she rejected his proposal of marriage to her.

"Mr Darcy, do you think I could ever be persuaded to accept the man who ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? Do you deny that you split them apart, your dear friend and Jane? Do you deny it?"

"No," he said without guilt.

"Why did you do it?" she asked softly, hurt and shock her only companions. How could he be proud of such an action?

"Not only the complete lack of propriety of your family, excusing yourself and your sister, but also because I believed her to be indifferent."

"My family? My mother and sisters can be foolish, but they aren't so horrible as to dissuade Mr Bingley. And Jane indifferent?! How could you say so? She loves him very much, Mr Darcy, and hardly even shows her true feelings to me! Sir, I beg of you, do believe her to love him. For this action against my sister, and your harsh opinions of my family, I believe you are the last person I would ever consider marrying. And your actions against Mister Wickham! How do you explain such a thing?!"

Mr Darcy was silent for a long moment. "Mister Wickham?! My apologies, Miss Elizabeth."

She looked at the ground. "I do not mean to cause you pain by my presence. I shall leave you." She turned away quickly, eager to escape the swell of pain like a sword in her chest. Never before had she felt such disdain for a man, or for herself. She had used harsh judgements, but she had also been addressed harshly. Liked her against his better judgement? Then perhaps it better he not like her at all.  


But our Miss Bennet could not sleep that night, and stayed up. When dawn came, she dressed and left silently, taking a long unfeeling walk in the park. Part of her longed to see Mr Darcy and apologize for her ill-manners, but the other part wished she would never come across him again.

"Miss Elizabeth!" she heard her name called. She tried to ignore it, but the footsteps became loud enough to hear and she turned, surprised that the voice calling her belonged to Darcy. He did not look like he had slept well either, but he simply placed an envelope in her hand. "I came only to ask that you read the contents of this letter, and I hope you will not think as badly, or worse after you do. I'm sorry." He turned away before she had the chance to say anything and was gone.

Elizabeth could not bear to stand once she had read the entire thing through a few times. She collapsed against a large tree, folding in on herself while she cried. Her accusations were so unfounded, that she could admit very greatly her errors. She had based such a foul opinion on him only to find that he had done nothing very wrong. He had indeed assumed wrongly of her sister's indifference, but Elizabeth knew that Jane often hid her feelings. Almost as much as Lizzie hid her own. For not a soul thought Lizzie felt much at all. They knew her to be a pretty and humble sort of girl who spoke ill of nobody but formed rather correct opinions from her constant observations.

Not even Jane or Charlotte could ever guess how Lizzie was feeling, but now, by herself in the park and quite tired, her sadness and embarrassment, her utter disappointment, spilled out of her. She could not hold back the sobs that wracked through her thin and soft frame, nor the tears that overflowed from her eyes. She cried until she was out of tears, and still she did not move. Lizzie didn't have it in her to get up from her place on the ground, and rather hoped she would be left there forever. Sorrow was her companion now, no matter how she tried to stop it. She felt an overwhelming sense of loss, even though she had not lost anything.

Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Darcy called on the Collinses to bid them adieu, for they were leaving that day, but Mr Darcy was shocked to find that Miss Elizabeth had not returned yet, for it had been several hours since the sun rose. It was early afternoon, and she had been gone all that time? Not even to check in with her dear friend?

Darcy couldn't help but feel as if her disappearance were his fault, and offered to look for her. "I have seen her just this early morning, and given her a letter. I would have thought she returned shortly after."

Mrs Lucas shook her head. "Lizzie left quite early, just as the sun was risen, for I heard a creak in the floorboards, but she has not come back since, and I do worry for her greatly. She seemed very upset when she returned yesterday evening."

"I believe, Madam, that her disappearance may be my fault. I greatly offended her yesterday, and gave her the apology this morning. While she holds no regard for me, I can only wonder that her steady non-return may be the fault of mine. Perhaps I have offended her again. Would it be against your wishes if I searched for her?"

"By all means, Mr Darcy, I think you should. Lizzie is of a particular sort. She does not show her emotions to even the closest people, I daresay she is more secretive than her elder sister. Please do find her." Mrs Lucas did not have to say another word, for Mr Darcy was already out the door and in the park. The days weren't cold, but the wind was strong on this particular day, and Darcy worried that Miss Elizabeth might be sick, or hurt. He found her, after sometime searching. She was not awake, but her cheeks were still wet with sorrow and parchment was caught in her strong grip.

Mr Darcy felt his heart break at the sight. He lifted her into his arms, cautious not to wake her, and carried her back to the Collinses estate. Everyone was shocked that she was in such a condition, for she was always the first to be cautious.

  
Elizabeth opened her eyes to a sunlit room, her room at Charlotte and Mr Collins' house. She didn't remember ever returning from the park, and figured perhaps she had fallen asleep while she watched the sky.

But then she remembered the letter Mr Darcy gave her, and she nearly began her awful emotional disaster all over again. How could she assume such mean things of an amiable man, a man who was looking out for his friend, and very protective of his sister? She could never again think ill of him.

The door was opened and her dear friend Charlotte entered. "Good heavens, Lizzie, you gave us all a fright! I thought you may never have woke. Poor Mr Darcy was beside himself, the Colonel had to drag him away from here."

"Mr Darcy was here?!" Elizabeth asked in alarm.

"Of course, Lizzie, he's the one who found you." Charlotte checked her friend's forehead. "He was surprised you weren't returned when he came to say goodbye, for they were about to leave. He suggested searching for you himself, and I certainly didn't want Mr Collins doing so, he's not very bright."

"Mr Darcy found me... Oh dear. My sincerest apologies, Charlotte. I do not know what has come over me."

"He left his apology, Lizzie. He feels it is his fault that you were so upset. Did he offend you in some way? Did he hurt your pride?"

"No, Charlotte. Perhaps this morning I was offended by him, but no longer. I've never felt such sorrow in my life."

"Dearest Lizzie, what grieves you so?"

"I dare not say, Charlotte. I thank you kindly for your concern, but I do not think I could bear to speak of it."

When Elizabeth Bennet returned home, her aunt and uncle were there to return her sister home, and offered her to tour the country with them. She needed the time away, and agreed with all the relief she could find.

However good she thought this trip would be for her, she soon found herself at Pemberley, Mr Darcy's home. She hadn't wanted to go, and tried to talk them out of it, for she was afraid she was overstepping her bounds.

She used the excuse that he was just so rich.

Even when the housekeeper said he was not in during the tour, she felt little relief. It was still his home, and he might still appear against her hopes.

Well he did. She got a little lost, and heard someone playing the pianoforte, so she stood by the door to listen, and the music abruptly stopped while someone exclaimed about their brother.

Elizabeth gasped and quickly fled from the hall, finding her way outside, but she had already been seen and Mr Darcy was following her.

"Miss Elizabeth!" He caught up to her at the stairs.

"Mr Darcy... I do apologize for the intrusion."

"You need not. Are you well?"

"I am. I... I would not have come if my aunt and uncle had not persuaded me. I'm sorry. They said you were out of town, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow."

"I was, but I came back early to inform the kitchen how many we shall be receiving. Are you staying in Lambton?"

"Yes, at the Rose and Crown. Let me again apologize for such an intrusion. I bid you good day, sir."

Mr Darcy bowed while she curtsied and quickly left.

〰〰〰

Mr and Mrs Gardiner had already agreed to dine with Mr Darcy the next day, and Elizabeth was surprised that he had offered to them. She was surprised that he had even gone to see them.

But she couldn't overlook his manner, or his kindness, and wondered if it was at all possible that he could still care for her after the way she treated him. Did he still wish to marry her? Or was he just trying to prove her even more wrong?

She met his sister, and was quickly very fond of Miss Darcy. She was very humble and kind, and wanted to know anything Elizabeth told her. She even let it slip that Mr Darcy spoke of her often, taking Lizzie by surprise.

But her joy in simply being around him once again quickly vanished, for her sister Lydia had done an awful thing, and Lizzie was devastated and shamed. She told Mr and Mrs Gardiner along with Mr Darcy of the horror that had passed in Hertfordshire, and soon she was returning to Longbourn.

A visit from Lady Catherine de Bourgh after Lydia's forced marriage drove the family into an upstart one early morning before dawn. But the Lady only wished to speak to Elizabeth, and she had nothing nice to say. Her rude comments were insulting and Elizabeth could not be directed to agree with any scheme of the woman's, so she swore she would never make any sort of promise not to marry Mr Darcy should he ever ask (again). Her Ladyship did not know that Darcy really _had_ proposed,  _or_ that she had refused, and she never would.

Once again, Elizabeth could not return to sleep as everyone else did. She sat up until the sun was peaking over the hills, and then she went on a walk.

Fitzwilliam Darcy was shocked at his Aunt's behavior, and set off at once to make his apology on her behalf. While he walked, he saw someone standing on a bridge that led to the Bennet estate, and he knew it to be Miss Elizabeth. He sighed at her beauty, and while he now had hope that she may accept him, proceeded with caution.

"Miss Elizabeth," he called softly while he neared her.

She turned, her face full of surprise. "Mr Darcy."

"My aunt..."

She blushed, looking down. "Yes, she was here."

"Believe me, I did not know she would hear anything of the sort, and I'm terribly sorry she behaved so rudely. How can I make amends for such behavior?"

Elizabeth looked up. "Please, sir, you do not have to."

"My aunt has said some things, and your replies have given me hope, as I have scarcely allowed myself before. My sentiments and wishes have not changed. If your feelings are still what they were last April, say the word, and I will never speak of it again." She said nothing. "If, however, you're feelings have changed, I would have to tell you... You have bewitched me, body and soul. And I love... I love... I love you."

Elizabeth took his hand. "Your hands are cold." He nodded, unsure what to say.

  
Elizabeth entered her father's study. "Papa," she began. "I wish to say something."

"By all means, Lizzie."

"I've loved Mr Darcy since very early in our acquaintance. Since then, I've buried my feelings deep on account of many things that I now know I was very wrong about. He's done so much that you don't know. Papa, he brought Mr Bingley back to Jane, he forced Wickham to marry Lydia and paid for the wedding!"

"Lizzie, you're serious?"

"Yes, Papa."

"My Lizzie, I could not part with you to anyone less worthy. You have my consent."

And Mr Darcy married Lizzie. They were very compatible, very happy. Georgiana stayed with them full time, and her sisters came to visit often.

They were very much in love, and very happy to be together. How about a Happily Ever After?

〰〰  
**_Fin_**


End file.
